The yelling. The disrespect. The fight (physically and mentally). The separation. The feeling of being unloved. The feeling of being alone. The feeling of getting a DIVORCE. Oh no, there's the "d' word. This is a marriage under fire and how many buckets of water will it take to put out the fire. 1? 5? 30? 100? 1,000? Who knows.
You may not say it openly that this is going on in your marriage, but it is. You may hold it all on the inside because you don't want people to look at you similar to the friends of Patricia and Gavin Anew in "Why Did I Get Married Too" when they announced that they were getting a divorce. The friends were appalled at that statement and then things turned ugly within their marriage. But do you really want that for your marriage? Is this really healthy for the marriage? Let's go to counseling, you say. He says no. So you do what you can to make it work. But does it work out? No.
It gets worse. He states that you don't respect me and do what I say. So you start doing what he says and it ALWAYS fails. Bucket #1 to put out that fire. He says you don't support him, so you do and go and support him. Bucket #5 to put out that fire. He gets down and start questioning himself in doing things but you still stand flat footed and you keep things going until he can get himself back up and going. Bucket #75 to put out the fire. With all of those buckets of water to put out the fire, how many buckets does it really takes? He says you don't do this. You say that he doesn't do this. You go back and forth. When does it stop?
Out of all of those buckets of water you throw on the fire to put it out, there is still a clear vision once the smoke goes away. A fire doesn't burn always. If you need to take some time alone to breathe, do so. If you need to take a vacation day, and go some where by yourself, go. An uneasy and an off balanced mind never get ahead. After you both have calmed down, TALK don't blame each other. The blame game is so old, I don't think it wants to come back. As long as you keep throwing the water on the fire, that's proof that you want to save your marriage. Don't allow it to burn completely OUT!
Until next time,